you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
