he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Randomize