Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
