I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
