You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I think I sprained my soul last night
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Randomize
