porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
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