Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
