I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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