she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
