he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
