I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize