yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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