So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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