just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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