yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
My vagina just clenched in fear
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
