What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Randomize
