I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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