Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize