weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
