I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
