He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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