What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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