Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Randomize
