If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
