I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
