Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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