Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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