i think my mom watched the whole time
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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