This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
