i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
