they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
