You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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