Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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