I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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