got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize