ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
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