i'm signing you up for texting rehab
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
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