On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Randomize
