I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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