Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Randomize
