I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
