O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
