My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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