ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
