is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize