Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize