Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
