so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Randomize