I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
