Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
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