dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
