I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
