found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
