beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
