Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
