a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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