Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
